Caroline's Waterloo Read online

  ‘So, now I meet you, Baroness,’ he chuckled, ‘and how happy I am to do so. We will talk presently; I look forward to it.’ He passed her on to his wife with a laughing remark to Radinck, who introduced her to a tall thin lady with a beaky nose and a sweet expression. Her English was fragmental and Caro, having repeated her few phrases, was relieved when Radinck took the conversation smoothly into his own hands before taking her arm and leading her into the room.

  He seemed to know everyone there, and she shook hands and murmured, forgetting most of the names immediately until finally Radinck whisked her on to the floor to dance.

  He danced well, but then so did she; not that she had had much chance to show her skill, but she had always loved dancing and it came naturally to her. She floated round in his arms, just for a little while a happy girl, although a peep at his face decided her not to talk. It was bland and faintly smiling, but the smile wasn’t for her; she had the horrid feeling that he was doing his social duty without much pleasure. On the whole she was glad when the music stopped and Tiele and Becky joined them, and when the music started again it was Tiele who asked her to dance.

  Unlike Radinck he chatted in an easy casual way, telling her how pretty she looked, how well she danced and wanting to know if she and Radinck would be at the hospital ball.

  ‘Well, you know, I’m not sure about that—there were so many invitations…’ And when her partner looked surprised: ‘Does Radinck always go?’

  Tiele studied her earnest face carefully. ‘Oh, yes, though it’s always been a bit of a duty for him—not much fun for a man on his own, you know. But you’re sure to be there this year. We must join forces for the evening.’

  He was rewarded by her smile. ‘I’d like that—it’s all rather strange, you know, and my Dutch isn’t up to much.’

  ‘Never mind that,’ he told her kindly. ‘You dance like a dream and everyone’s saying that you’re just right for Radinck.’

  She blushed brightly. ‘Oh, thank you—I hope you’re right; I don’t mind what people say really, only I do want Radinck to be proud of me.’

  Tiele’s eyes were thoughtful, but he said easily: ‘He’s that all right!’

  And after that Caroline went from partner to partner. There seemed to be no end to them, and although she caught glimpses of Radinck from time to time he made no attempt to approach her. It wasn’t until they all went down to supper that he appeared suddenly beside her, took her arm and found her a seat at a table for four, before going in search of food at the buffet. Becky and Tiele, following them in, hesitated about joining them until Becky said softly: ‘Look, darling, he’s only danced with her once this evening. If it had been you I’d have boxed your ears! Look at her sitting there—she’s lonely.’

  ‘I’d rather look at you, my darling, and I don’t think Radinck would like his ears boxed.’

  ‘Well, of course he wouldn’t, and Caro’s clever enough to know that.’ Becky added darkly: ‘He’s been leading a bachelor life too long—she’s such a dear, too.’

  ‘Which allows us to hope that he will become a happily married man, my love.’

  Caro had seen them. Becky gave her husband’s arm a wifely nip and obedient to this signal, they went to join her. Tiele said easily: ‘Do you mind if we join you?’ He settled his wife in a chair beside Caro. ‘I suppose Radinck is battling his way towards the sandwiches—I’ll join him.’ He touched his wife lightly on her arm. ‘Anything you fancy, darling?’

  Becky thought briefly. ‘Well, I like vol-au-vents, but only if they’ve got salmon in them, and those dear little cream puffs. What are you having, Caro?’

  ‘I don’t know.’ Caro smiled brightly, wishing with all her heart that Radinck would call her darling in that kind of a voice and ask her what she would like, as though he really minded. Tiele, she felt sure, would bring back salmon vol-au-vents and cream puffs even if he had to go out and bake them himself.

  But it seemed that these delicacies were readily obtainable, for he was back in no time at all with a tray of food and Radinck with him. Caro accepted the chicken patties he had brought for her, had her glass filled with champagne and declared herself delighted with everything. And Radinck seemed to be enjoying himself, laughing and talking with Tiele and teasing Becky and treating herself with charming politeness. Only she wondered how much of it was social good manners, hiding his impatience of the whole evening. It wasn’t until Becky remarked: ‘We shall all see each other at the hospital ball, shan’t we? Can’t we go together?’ that Caro saw the bland look on his face again and heard the sudden coolness in his voice.

  ‘I’m not certain if we shall be going—I’ve that seminar in Vienna.’

  ‘Isn’t that on the following day?’ asked Tiele.

  ‘Yes, but I’ve one or two committees—I thought I’d go a day earlier and settle them first.’ He glanced at Caro. ‘I don’t think Caroline will mind—we have so many parties during the next few weeks.’

  Becky opened her mouth, caught her husband’s quelling eye and closed it again, and Caro, anxious to do the right thing, observed with a cheerfulness she didn’t feel that of course Radinck was quite right and she wouldn’t mind missing the ball in the least.

  ‘You could come with us,’ suggested Becky, but was answered by Radinck’s politely chilling:

  ‘Might that not seem a little strange? We have been married for such a short time.’

  ‘Oh, you mean that people might think you’d quarrelled or separated or something,’ observed Becky forthrightly. ‘Caro, let’s go and tidy up for the second half,’ and on their way: ‘Caro, why don’t you go to Vienna with Radinck?’

  Caro tried to be nonchalant and failed utterly. ‘Oh, he wouldn’t want me around.’ She went on quickly in case her companion got the wrong idea, ‘He works so hard.’ Which didn’t quite seem adequate but was all she could think of.

  Back on the dance floor, she almost gasped with relief when Radinck swept her into a waltz. She had been in a panic that he would introduce her to some dry-as-dust dignitary and leave her with him, or worse still, just leave her. They danced in silence for a few minutes before he asked her if she was enjoying herself.

  ‘Yes, thank you,’ said Caro. ‘You have a great many friends, haven’t you, and they are all very kind.’

  ‘They have no reason to be otherwise.’ He spoke so austerely that her champagne-induced pleasure dwindled away to nothing at all. She danced as she always did, gracefully and without fault, but her heart wasn’t in it. Radinck was doing his duty again and not enjoying it, although she had to admit that nothing of his feelings showed on his face. The dance finished and he relinquished her to another partner and she didn’t see him again until the last dance, when he swept her on to the floor again—but only, she thought sadly, because it was customary for the last dance to be enjoyed by married couples and sweethearts together.

  They left quickly, giving Caro barely time to say goodbye to Becky. ‘I’ll telephone,’ cried Becky, ‘and anyway we’ll see each other at the Hakelsmas’ drinks party, won’t we?’

  Radinck maintained a steady flow of casual talk as they drove home. Caro listened when it seemed necessary and, once in the house, bade him a quiet goodnight and started up the staircase. She was halted halfway up by his query as to whether she wouldn’t like a cup of coffee with him, but she paused only long enough to shake her head, glad that he was too far away to see the tears in her eyes. The evening, despite the dress, had been a failure. He had evinced no pleasure in her company and she had no doubt at all that the moment she was out of sight he would turn away with a sigh of thankfulness and go to his study, to immerse himself in his books and papers. She undressed very quickly and took off the necklace; tomorrow she would return it to him.

  Ilke, not having been told otherwise, woke her early so that she might go riding, but she drank her tea slowly and then lay, listening for the sound of Rufus’s hooves on the cobblestones. Presently, after they had died away, she got up, bathed a
nd dressed in her new suit, did her face and hair and went down to her breakfast. Radinck was back by then, already halfway through his own meal, and she said at once as she went in: ‘Good morning—no, don’t get up, I’m sure you have no time.’

  She slipped into her chair and sipped the coffee Noakes had poured for her and took a slice of toast.

  ‘You were too tired to ride,’ stated Radinck.

  ‘Me, tired? Not in the least.’ She gave him a sunny smile and buttered her toast, and after a moment or two he picked up his letters again, tossing several over to her as he did so.

  ‘Will you answer these? Drinks mostly, I think.’

  ‘You want me to refuse them?’

  He looked impatient. ‘Certainly not. Why should you think that?’

  Caroline didn’t answer. After all, she had told him once; she wasn’t going to keep on. Instead she got on with her breakfast and when Noakes went out of the room, she got up and put the necklace carefully beside her husband’s plate.

  ‘Thank you for letting me wear it,’ she said.

  He put down the letter he had been reading to stare at her down his handsome nose. ‘My dear Caroline, I gave it to you.’

  She opened her hazel eyes wide. ‘Oh, did you? I thought you’d lent it to me just for the evening. How kind—but I can’t accept it, you know.’

  ‘Why not?’ Radinck’s brows were drawn together in an ominous frown.

  She did her best to explain. ‘Well, it’s not like a present, is it? I mean, one gives a present because one wants to, but you gave me the necklace to wear because your wife would be expected to have the family jewels.’

  Radinck crumpled up the letter in his hand and hurled it at the wastepaper basket.

  ‘What an abominable girl you are, Caroline! As I said some time ago, you have this gift of putting me in the wrong.’

  ‘I’m sorry if you’re annoyed, but I can’t possibly accept it, though I’ll wear any jewellery you like when we go out together.’

  He said silkily: ‘Don’t count on going out too often, Caroline, I’m a busy man.’

  ‘Well, I wasn’t going to.’ She gave him a thoughtful look, and added kindly: ‘You’re very cross—I daresay you’re tired. We should have left earlier last night.’

  The silkiness was still there, tinged with ice now. ‘When I wish you to organise my life, Caroline, I will say so. I am not yet so elderly that I cannot decide things for myself.’

  ‘Oh, you’re not elderly at all,’ said Caro soothingly. ‘You’re not even middle-aged. How silly of you to think that; you must know that you’re…’She stopped abruptly and he urged her blandly:

  ‘Do go on.’

  ‘No, I won’t, you’ll only bite my head off if I do.’ She took a roll and spread it with butter and cheese. ‘What time do you want to go to Mevrouw Hakelsma’s party? Only so that I’ll be ready on time,’ she added hastily.

  ‘It is for half past seven, isn’t it? I should be home by six o’clock. Will you see that dinner is later?’

  ‘Would half past eight suit you? I’ll tell Juffrouw Kropp.’

  He nodded. ‘I should like to leave the Hakelsmas’ place within an hour; I’ve a good deal of work waiting.’

  Caro kept her face cheerful. ‘Of course. Just nod and wink at me when you’re ready to leave.’

  Radinck got up from the table. ‘I shall neither nod nor wink,’ he told her cuttingly. ‘You are my wife, not the dog.’ He stalked to the door. ‘I’ll see you this evening.’

  She said, ‘Yes, Radinck,’ so meekly that he shot her a suspicious look and paused to say:

  ‘It will be short dresses this evening.’

  She said ‘Yes, Radinck,’ again, still so meek that he exclaimed forcefully:

  ‘I wish you would refrain from this continuous “Yes, Radinck”, as though I were a tyrant!’

  ‘Oh, but you’re not,’ Caro assured him warmly. ‘That’s the last thing you are; it’s just that you’ve lived so long alone that you’ve forgotten how to talk. Never mind, you’ll soon get into the habit again now that I’m here.’ She gave him a limpid smile and he said something in a subdued roar, something nasty in his own language, she judged, as she watched him go.

  She finished her breakfast, inspected more cupboards under Juffrouw Kropp’s guidance, discussed the evening’s dinner with Marta and then arranged the flowers, a task she enjoyed even though it took a long time, and then went down to see how Queenie was getting on. Willem was there and they stood admiring the little donkey and her son, carrying on a conversation, which, while completely ungrammatical on Caro’s part, Willem understood very well. She had sugar for the horses too, and Jemmy whinnied when he saw her, looking at her so reproachfully that she changed after lunch and, with Jan keeping a watchful eye on her, rode round the fields. Which didn’t leave her much time for anything else. She was ready, wearing one of her new dresses, pink silk jersey with a demure neck and long sleeves, well before six o’clock, and went to sit in the smaller of the sitting-rooms, industriously knitting. It was half past six when Noakes came to tell her that Radinck was on the telephone.

  He sounded austere. ‘I’m sorry, Caroline, but I shall be home later than I expected. Perhaps you could ring Mevrouw Hakelsma and say all the right things. I don’t expect we can get there much before eight o’clock.’

  She said, ‘Yes, Radinck,’ before she could stop herself, but what else was there to say? ‘OK, darling,’ wouldn’t have pleased him at all. She went along to the kitchen and prudently arranged for dinner to be delayed, then went back to her knitting.

  Radinck got home at half past seven, looking tired, which somehow made him more approachable.

  Caro wished him a pleasant good evening. ‘Would you like a sandwich before you go upstairs?’ she asked.

  He had gone to the sofa table where the tray of drinks was. ‘Thank you, I should—I missed lunch. What will you drink?’

  ‘Sherry, thank you.’ She pressed the old-fashioned brass bell beside the hearth and when Noakes came asked for a plate of sandwiches.

  Radinck was famished. He devoured the lot with his whisky, looking like a tired, very handsome wolf who hadn’t had a square meal for days. Caro watching him, bursting with love, sighed soundlessly; he needed someone to look after him so badly.

  He went away presently, to rejoin her in a little while looking immaculate in one of his beautifully cut dark suits. She got up at once, laid her knitting on the work table and went with him into the hall where Noakes was waiting with their coats. Radinck helped her into hers and shrugged on his own coat, and Caro, with a quick whisper to Noakes to be sure and have dinner ready to put on the table the moment they got back, followed Radinck out to the car.

  The Hakelsmas lived on the outskirts of Leeuwarden, in a large red-brick villa full of heavy, comfortable furniture. Caro had already met them at the burgermeester’s reception and liked them both—in their forties, jolly, plump and kind. They had a large family, and three of them were there helping to entertain the guests, of whom there seemed to be a great many.

  Caro murmured her set piece to her host and hostess, accepted a glass of sherry and something called a bitterbal which she didn’t like at all, and was swept away to go from one group to the other, careful never to lose sight of Radinck. He seemed very popular, laughing and talking as though he liked nothing better than standing about drinking sherry and making small talk, and some of the girls there were very pretty and he appeared to be on very good terms with them. Caro, swept by a wave of jealousy, tried not to look at him too much. She had never thought of him as being likely to fall in love with anyone else, but there was no earthly reason why he shouldn’t. One couldn’t help these things. Of course she had every intention of trying to make him fall in love with her, but she began to wonder if the competition was too keen. Her not very pleasant thoughts were interrupted by Becky’s voice.

  ‘Hullo—you’re looking wistful. Why?’ She beamed at Caro. ‘You’re late. Did Radinck ge
t held up?’

  ‘Yes. There are a lot of people here, aren’t there? I expect I met most of them at the burgermeester’s.’

  ‘Don’t worry, it took me months to remember everyone’s name, but they’re all very sweet about it, and we’ll all be seeing each other quite a lot during the next few weeks. Radinck gave an enormous party last year—are you having one this year too?’

  ‘I think so.’

  ‘Well, I expect now he’s got you, he’ll go out more. He’s always been a bit of a recluse—well, ever since…’

  ‘His first wife died? That’s understandable, isn’t it?’ Caro smiled at Becky and let her see that she knew all about the first wife and it didn’t matter at all.

  On their way home presently, she said carefully: ‘Radinck, I don’t a bit mind not going to all these parties if you don’t want to. After all, everyone knows you’re a very busy man—mind you,’ she observed thoughtfully, ‘I daresay you don’t need to do as much work as you do, if you see what I mean. Becky said you didn’t go out much before—before we got married, and I did promise you that I’d not interfere with your life…’

  She couldn’t see his face, but she could tell from his voice that he was frowning. ‘I thought that I had made myself clear; we will attend as many of these parties as possible, give an evening party ourselves, and then I shall be able to return to what you call my life. For most of the year there is very little social life on a big scale, only just before Christmas and at the New Year. Once that is over…’ He slowed the car a little and Caro, thankful for the chance to talk to him even if only for a brief while, said unhappily: ‘You hate it, don’t you? I’m glad it’s only for a few weeks. What a pity I can’t get ’flu or something, then we couldn’t go…’