The Moon for Lavinia Page 12

  Lavinia had been looking forward to the drive to Noordwijk, for she had quickly gathered that Radmer had no intention of allowing her to infringe upon his work, and somehow he seemed to have very little leisure. It was obvious to her now that their two evenings out together had been in the nature of a sop to her acceptance without fuss of his plans for their wedding, and yet she had thought on the previous evening, while they had been dancing, that he was enjoying her company.

  Wishful thinking, she told herself, drank the rest of her coffee, fed the toast to the birds on the balcony so that Mevrouw Pette would think that she had made a good breakfast, and got up. She would have to do something to take her mind off her problems, just for a little while. She didn't know how to handle the situation and panicking about it wouldn't help. One thing was certain; the quicker she got herself used to the manner of living Radmer expected of her, the better; she would have to learn to fill her days for herself and never take the sharing of his leisure for granted. She had the two girls, of course, and naturally there would be evenings out with his friends and family and some entertaining at home as well, when they would be together, but any vague hope which she had cherished that they might sometimes slip off together just for the sheer pleasure of each other's company could be scotched.

  She dressed rapidly, snatched up her handbag and her lesson books, and after a short conversation with Mevrouw Pette, left the house. Her Dutch lesson would take care of the next hour and after that, she told herself, with a touch of defiance, she would go shopping.

  Juffrouw de Waal was sharp with her; not only did she not know her lessons, she was decidedly distraite. She was sent on her way at the end of the hour, with a stern recommendation to apply herself to her Dutch verbs, and by way of penance, write a short essay on any subject she wished-in Dutch, of course. She agreed meekly to her teacher's views on her shortcomings, rather to that lady's surprise, and went out into the sunny streets. Five minutes' walk brought her to the shops and here she slowed her pace until her eye was caught by the sight of an extremely exclusive hair dressing salon. She went inside on an impulse and luckily for her the exquisite damsel at the reception desk felt sure that someone could be found to attend to her immediately and when she was asked to give her name, the damsel murmured: `Oh, Mevrouw ter B avinck,' rather as though she had introduced herself as the Queen of the Netherlands, and before she knew where she was, she had been whisked away to be attended by the proprietor himself, Monsieur Henri, who talked a great deal about the ter Bavinck family in a tone of reverence which greatly astonished her.

  She emerged an hour later, considerably poorer, with her hair transformed from its usual simple style to an artless coiffure which looked simple but wasn't. Such a transformation deserved a new outfit; she spent a delightful half hour in La Bonneterie, emerging presently with a splendid collection of boxes and parcels, so that she was forced to get a taxi back to the house. Besides, she was very late for lunch, for it was long past one o'clock and she had told Mevrouw Pette that she would be back well before half past twelve.

  The taxi driver was so kind as to carry her packages up to the door; Lavinia gathered them up in both arms, opened it with some difficulty and went inside.

  Radmer was standing at his open study door, and at the expression on his face she faltered a little on her way across the hall. He looked tired; he looked furiously angry as well. She made for one of the marble-topped console tables in order to shed her purchases and he came to meet her, taking them from her and laying them down carefully, and when she stole another look at him, he didn't look angry at all, only tired.

  He said blandly: `I had expected you to be still in bed, sleeping off last night's exertions.' He smiled faintly. `Have you had lunch?'

  She flushed. `No. I-I was shopping and I didn't notice the time.' They entered the dining-room together and Bep, by some wellmanaged miracle, was already there, waiting to serve the soup. `I didn't expect you to come home,' she went on coldly. `From your note...'

  He stared at her across the table. After a 1)ause he said merely: `I hope you had a good morning's shopping?'

  She took a good drink of wine and felt it warm her cold inside. `Yes, thank you. I spent a great deal of money.'

  He was still staring at her and there was a gleam of amusement in his eyes now, although she didn't see it. Surely he would say something about her hair? It had looked quite different at the hairdressers, but all he said was: `I'm sure you will have spent it to advantage. I'm sorry that pretty dress was ruined.'

  `Oh, it's not ruined,' she told him earnestly. 'I'll have it cleaned and I can mend the tear quite easily. I'll send your dinner jacket to the cleaners too and see if they'll repair that tear in the leg...'

  He answered her seriously although the gleam was decidedly more pronounced. `Oh, I don't think I should bother about that-I've more than one suit, I believe, and why not buy another dress instead of-er-patching up the torn one?' He leaned over to re-fill her glass. `If you need any more money, just say so.' Was he annoyed because she had spent so much that morning? She went rather pink and said gruffly: `I've a great deall of money left, thank you.'

  He nodded rather vaguely and she asked him how the farmer and his wife were, and then, desperate for a nice neutral subject, enlarged on the weather. It was almost a relief when he said that he would have to be getting back to the hospital.

  'I'll bring the girls back in good time,' he told her, and was gone before she had time to frame a careful request to go with him. Left alone, she reflected that perhaps it was a good thing that she had had no chance to say anything, for if he had wanted her to go with him, surely he would have said so. She wandered out of the dining-room and upstairs to her room, where her shopping had been laid out for her. It should have been great fun trying on the pretty things she had bought, but it wasn't; if Radmer was indifferent enough not to notice that her waist-length hair, instead of heing pinned in a neat topknot, had been swathed round her head and the strands twisted and crossed high in front and pinned by a handsome tortoiseshell comb, he certainly wouldn't notice what clothes she wore. She took a close look at her reflection now and wondered if she would ever be able to dress her hair herself-probably not, but at least she would leave it as it was until Sibendina and Peta came home to admire it; she would wear one of her new dresses too. She decided on a silver grey silk jersey smock with an important colour and very full sleeves caught into deep cuffs. It was floor-length and she considered that it was exactly the sort of garment a stepmother might be expected to wear. Studying it in the mirror, she came to the erroneous conclusion that it added dignity to her appearance and made her look much older. In fact, it did nothing of the sort-indeed, she looked younger if anything, and positively pretty.

  She got back into a cotton dress finally and took the dogs out into the park. The lovely summer day had become a little overcast and as she turned for home with Dong and Pobble at her heels, she could see black clouds massing over the rooftops. There was going to be a storm, and she hated them; it wouldn't be quite so bad if she were back home with Mevrouw Pette and Bep in the kitchen. She put the dogs or, their leads and hurried. They gained the porch, very out of breath as the first slow drops of rain fell.

  Lavinia had her solitary tea sitting with her back to the enormous windows, and tried not to flinch at each flash of lightning, and the dogs, quite as cowardly as she, pressed themselves close to her. But presently the storm blew over, leaving a downpour of rain, and she got out her lesson books and applied herself to her homework until it was time to go and change her dress. She took a long time over this; even so, there was still plenty of time before Radmer and the girls would arrive. She filled it in by inspecting the table in the dining-room. While she was there Mevrouw Pette came in, and together they admired the stiffly starched linen, the polished silver and sparkling glass. Between them they had concocted a festive menu too, and Lavinia, glad to have something to do, accompanied the housekeeper back to the kitchen to sample the de
licacies prepared in honour of the girls' homecoming.

  It was pleasant in the kitchen, warm and fragrant with the smell of cooking, and the copper pans on the wall glowed cosily and it was nice when its occupants complimented her upon her appearance, even Ton, who came in each day to help, a good hard-working girl but hardly talkative, managed to tell her that she looked pretty. Lavinia went back upstairs sparkling with their praise, and the sparkle was still there a few minutes later when the front door was flung open and hurrying feet across the hall heralded the family's return. The girls came in together, calling 'Lavinia!' at the tops of their voices, to stop and stare at her waiting for them in the centre of the drawing-room. `Gosh, you look absolutely gorgeous!' cried Peta. `You've done something to your hair, and look at that wizard dress...

  `Why, you're pretty,' declared Sibby with the candour of youth. `You always are,' she added hastily, `but you know what I mean.'

  The pair of them fell upon her, hugging and kissing her in a fashion to warm her heart although she cried laughingly: `Oh, darlings, do take care of my hair!'

  They let her go then, still holding her hands, turning and twisting her from side to side, admiring every aspect of her person, talking and giggling until Sibby cried: `Papa, doesn't Lavinia look absolutely super? No wonder you wanted to marry her-and don't you just love the way her hair is done?'

  Lavinia hadn't known that he was in the room. She said too quickly: `Dinner's all ready-hadn't you two better go upstairs and wash your hands?' She smiled rather blindly at them and then turned round to face him. `I do hope you had a pleasant drive and that your parents are well,' she observed cheerfully; she sounded like a hostess, anxious to please, and the two girls exchanged puzzled glances as they went from the room.

  He poured their drinks with a brief: `Yes, thanks,' but when he brought her glass over, he remarked ruefully: `I should have said something about the hair, shouldn't I? I'm sorry, I did notice it, you know. I told you that I had become clumsy with women, didn't I? Please forgive me. And your dress is very pretty.'

  Lavinia thanked him quietly and took a heartening sip of her sherry; she felt that she needed it. Perhaps when the girls had gone to bed, she should have a talk with him; try and get back on to the old friendly footing which somehow they had lost. On the other hand, he was probably tired and the awkwardness she felt between them was due to that. She finished her sherry and asked for another, and when he handed it to her he said with a twinkle: `Dutchman's courage, Lavinia?'

  Of course he thought that she was nervous because the girls had come back; quite likely he imagined that she had dressed up and had her hair done with the same reason in mind. She smiled at him and lied cheerfully: `Yes, I think I need it-I'm nervous, isn't it silly'.' though I'll get over it. It's lovely to have them here, isn't it?'

  Radmer's voice was bland. `Delightful,' he agreed, and added lightly: `And such a weight off my shoulders, I shall be able to catch up on my reading without feeling guilty of leaving Sibendina alone.' He put down his glass. `How do you like the idea of Peta having Dutch lessons with Juffrouw de Waal? Not with you, of course, and I thought it might be a good idea if she had lessons in Dutch history and geography, and as soon as she has a smattering of Dutch, she could go to Sibby's school-I'm sure they will take her. Do you suppose she would like that?'

  Lavinia lifted a grateful face to him. `Oh, Radmer, how kind you are-I'm sure she'll love it. Have you asked her?'

  He looked surprised. `Well, no-I hadn't spoken to you about it, my dear.'

  She wished most fervently that she was his dear. `Is there anything I can do to save your time?' she asked, and when he shook his head, she repeated: `You've been more than kind,' and then before she could stop herself because the sherry was doing its work: `Why didn't you want me to go with you to Noordwijk?'

  He was standing close to her, watching her. Now he frowned. 'I'm not sure,' he told her. `I...' Whatever he had been about to say was cut short by the entry of the two girls and they all went in to dinner.

  The meal was a gay one, with a great deal of laughing and talking, and if Lavinia was a little quieter than the others, no one seemed to notice. They made plans later, sitting in the drawing-room while Lavinia poured the coffee, and Peta immediately professed the greatest satisfaction with the plan for her to have lessons with Juffrouw de Waal; she was to join Sibby's tennis club too, and go swimming whenever she wished, and when Radmer disclosed his plans for sending her to Sibby's school just as soon as she had mastered a little Dutch, she was in transports of delight.

  `And now what about going to bed?' he wanted to know, cutting her thanks short. 'Sibby has to go to school in the morning and I suggest that you go with Lavinia, Peta, and meet Juffrouw de Waal.'

  They said good night, embracing Lavinia first and then going to kiss Radmer. It way Peta who observed bracingly: `You mustn't be shy about kissing Lavinia, you know, while we're here-we shan't mind at all.' She continued reflectively: `You didn't when we came home this evening.'

  It was Sibendina who unconsciously saved the situation by remarking: `Well, they're only just married, you know, I expect they like to be alone. Don't you, Papa?"

  'Oh, decidedly,' agreed the professoimildly. `And now bed, my dears.'

  They went, giggling and talking still, up the stairs, and when their voices could no longer be heard, Lavinia got up too. `Well, I think I'll go to bed as well,' she told him. `I daresay you want the house quiet so that you can read in peace.'

  `Good lord, did I say that?' he asked her, and when she laughed, `You're a very nice girl, Lavinia,' He walked to the door with her and opened it, but when she made to pass him, he put out a sudden hand and caught her by the shoulder.

  `We're quite alone,' he said lightly. 'We'd better do as Sibby suggested.'

  He bent to kiss her, a brief salute on one cheek, and then to her utter surprise, a quite rough kiss on her mouth. He let her go at once and she flew away, up the staircase and into her room before she really knew what she was doing. Undressing, she told herself that she had behaved in the stupidest fashion; like a silly schoolgirl. She should have made a graceful little joke about it, instead of tearing off in that way. He must think her a complete fool. She got into bed, determined that it wouldn't happen again; she would be careful to keep such incidents as lighthearted as possible, if ever they should occur again. She closed her eyes resolutely upon this resolve although her last thought before she slept were, that being kissed in that fashion was decidedlt interesting, even if he had intended it as a joke.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  IT WAS A simple matter to slip into the wellordered way of living which Radmer's household enjoyed. Lavinia, aided by the kindly Mevrouw Pette, took upon herself those household tasks which the housekeeper considered were suitable for the lady of the house, although in actual fact they took up very little of her time, but she worked for hours over her Dutch lessons and she was always home when the girls got back at lunchtime, and never failed to be sitting by the tea tray when they came home in the afternoon. Of Radmer she saw very little. True, they breakfasted together, but then so did the girls, and conversation, such as it was, was general. He was always the first to leave the table, and perhaps because of what Peta had said, he never neglected to come round the table and bend to kiss her cheek, and if Sibby and Peta were with her when he got back in the evenings, he repeated this, while she, for her part, greeted him with a welcoming smile and a few wifely inquiries as to how his day had gone. Very rarely he came home for lunch, although he never went out in the evenings, retiring after a decent interval to his study, so that before very long Lavinia was forced to the conclusion that he was avoiding her as often as he could..

  On one or two occasions they had dined out with friends and they all paid regular visits to Noordwijk, but the opportunity to talk to him, even get to know him better, was non-existent. And yet, on the rare occasions when they were together, he appeared to take pleasure in her being with him, and from every other aspect sh
e supposed that their marriage was a success, for Sibby was deeply fond of her already and even though she regarded her more as an elder sister than a stepmother, she confided in her to an extent which proved how much in need she had been for an older and wiser head with which to share her youthful problems.

  Peta was happy too. Lavinia had never seen her so carefree and content, treating Radmer like a big brother and yet quite obviously regarding him as the head of the household to be obeyed, as well as the one to go to when in trouble.

  The house had taken on a new air, too. It had always been beautifully managed by Mevrouw Pette, but now Lavinia was slowly setting her own mark upon it; arranging great bowls of flowers in every room, bearing home baskets of plants from the flower market and bedding them in great masses of colour in the small garden. She had taken over the conservatory too, buying new lounge chairs and a hammock seat which was the delight of the girls, and attending with loving care to a vine she had planted there. She did these things gradually and by the end of a month she had made a niche for herself, so that, while not absolutely essential to the life of the house, she certainly contributed to its well-being. Her Dutch was making strides too, and now that Peta was having many more lessons than she herself was, it was an incentive to work even harder at her books. And as for Radmer, hc seemed content enough and at week-ends ai least, quite prepared to take them out and about, but there had been no more tete-a-tetc dinners, and as the days slipped by, Lavinia resigned herself to the fact that there probably never would be again.