A Star Looks Down Read online

  ' "Oh--you don't look that kind of man at all.

  ' He stopped to look at her.

  "No?

  What kind of man do you think I am, Beth?

  Did I not tell you that I wasn't one to chat up the birds?

  ' She hastened to agree with him.

  "Oh, I'm sure you're not, but you must go out a good deal," she waved a

  hand towards the house before them.

  "All this.

  .

  .

  you must have loads of friends and entertain them sometimes.

  ' He grinned and she went pink.

  "What you want to know is whom do I entertain, isn't it, dear girl?

  Set your mind at rest, I'm a very ordinary man, possessed at the moment

  with a lively desire to marry the girl I love and settle down.

  ' He put out a hand and started to take the pins out of her hair, so

  that it hung around her shoulders.

  When he had finished he handed them to her.

  "That's better, now you're beautiful.

  ' He smiled a little.

  "There is so much I want to say to you, Beth, but I dare not, not just

  yet, for if I did you would imagine that I was saying it because of

  that conversation on the stairs which I'm not allowed to remember--and

  there has to be no doubt in your mind.

  Do you find me too old?

  ' She was so surprised that she could only gape at him.

  "Old?

  ' she managed.

  "You're not even middle-aged.

  .

  ' He kissed her again, very gently on her cheek.

  "Good, then from this moment, Beth, will you stop thinking of me as a

  profess or of surgery with more money than is good for him, and call me

  Alexander and remind yourself every few minutes that we are going to be

  something more than good friends?

  We have to begin somewhere, you know.

  ' Her head swam with the oddest mixture of thoughts, but it was no good

  trying to sort them out now.

  She said: "Yes, Alexander," in a meek voice, only too glad that someone

  else was making up her mind for her.

  It was rather an anticlimax when he said cheerfully: "Lunch, I think,"

  and strolled with her into the house, talking about the roses on the

  south wall, just as though he hadn't said a single one of the exciting

  words tumbling round inside her head.

  They lunched in a room large enough to accommodate with ease the

  massive round table in its centre, with its matching chairs; an

  enormous sideboard upon whose polished surface was a splendid display

  of silver, and another hooded fireplace.

  "Dreadfully old-fashioned," remarked the profess or as they sat down,

  'but I'm oldfashioned myself how does it strike you?

  ' Beth gazed about her.

  "But it's just right.

  I wonder who thought of those little wall chandeliers and that gorgeous

  crimson wallpaper?

  They're perfect!

  ' He leaned back in his carving chair, looking smug.

  "How could anyone help but like you, dear girl--you always say the

  right thing at the right time.

  I did.

  ' He talked about the house and its history while they enjoyed a

  delicious ratatouille followed by fillet steak, flavoured with

  mushrooms, garlic and some sort of sausage, and it had undoubtedly been

  cooked in wine.

  Beth would have liked to ask, but felt too shy, and even if she did,

  she wasn't sure if the profess or, while appreciating good food,

  bothered himself much as to how it had been cooked.

  She allowed him to re-fill her glass with the Chianti they were

  drinking, and daintily polished off the crepes souffles au citron which

  Silver had placed before her, while she listened to her host's quiet

  voice talking with affection about his home.

  The wine had relaxed her by now, and she felt incapable of worrying

  about anything at all--it was sufficient to enjoy the moment.

  They went back to the drawing room for their coffee, before spending

  some time in the long gallery running across the back of the house, its

  windows looking out on to the garden, its inner wall hung with a number

  of paintings, some of them a little dark and forbidding, but most of

  them charming family groups of sober gentlemen in a variety of bygone

  costumes, standing guard over their wives and children.

  "Were any of them doctors or surgeons?

  ' she wanted to know.

  "Lord, yes.

  There's always been someone-mostly surgery.

  ' He opened a little painted door at the end of the gallery and ushered

  her into a small corner room with windows on two sides, cosily

  furnished with chintz-covered chairs and a number of small tables and

  cabinets.

  "My mother always sat here to do her accounts," he said.

  "I don't come here often-it's a large house.

  Unless I have guests, I never seem to get further than my study and the

  dining room.

  ' His words conjured up a lonely life; Beth was on the point of saying

  so when she stopped; it would be treading on thin ice again.

  That she loved him was an unchangeable fact, and he had let her see

  that he was attracted to her, perhaps loved her a little.

  But how much?

  she wondered.

  He might think he was, but it might not last; her good sense told her

  that what to her was serious might be to him a pleasant romantic

  episode and nothing more.

  She remarked on the charming work table by the side of the fireplace

  and kept the conversation firmly on antiques for the rest of the her

  visit.

  They drove back to Willemstad after tea, with Beth almost at the end of

  topics of an impersonal nature to talk about and the profess or

  silently amused and placid.

  They were half-way down the lane leading to his sister's house when he

  drew up, switched off the engine and turned to her.

  He said gently: "It's silly to be scared, Beth.

  It would be so very easy for me to convince you that your fears are

  non-existent--but I won't, not just yet.

  ' She looked at her hands resting quietly in her lap.

  "I'm not scared, truly I'm not--it's difficult to explain, but you see

  I'm so ordinary.

  If I were pretty or had loads of money or had done something quite

  extraordinary, it would seem more--more likely, but I'm not any of

  these things.

  I can't imagine what you see in me, and it might not last, that's if

  you do.

  .

  ' "Love you?

  I'll tell you about that next time we see each other.

  ' He started the car again and without another word went into the house

  again, to be instantly surrounded by the children.

  He left an hour later, calling goodbye to her in a casual way and

  without saying when they would meet again.

  CHAPTER NINE beth spent a wakeful night, alternating between despair

  and wild happiness.

  By the morning she knew that when the profess or came, and if he asked

  her, she was going to tell him that she would marry him.

  He hadn't actually told her that he loved her, but that, she realized

  now, was because she hadn't given him the chance.

  She got out of bed and looke
d out of the window.

  It was going to be another lovely spring day, although there was a line

  of woolly clouds tucked into the horizon, probably early morning

  cloud.

  She put on her slacks and a cotton shirt and went to see if the

  children were getting up.

  Mevrouw Thor becke had a headache and had decided to stay in bed until

  lunchtime, so after breakfast Beth proposed a cycle ride to the

  children and an English lesson to follow and then went along to Mevrouw

  Thor becke's room to see if there was anything she could do for her.

  There wasn't much; a little pillow shaking, the finding of some

  headache tablets, and some eau-de-cologne and a few instructions for

  Mies.

  Beth drew brocade curtains close and went along to the kitchen, where

  she and Mies engaged themselves in conversation at which they had

  become expert; signs and nods and an odd word here and there.

  They parted amicably ten minutes later and Beth went in search of the

  children.

  They were nowhere to be found; she looked through the house, searched

  the garden and then went to see if the bicycles had gone.

  They hadn't; she sighed with relief and went down the lane and into the

  street.

  They were up to some lark of their own, probably in a shop, and they

  couldn't be far away.

  Besides, four children could scarcely walk through the little town

  without being seen.

  She tried several shops without success until the greengrocer pointed

  towards the harbour, talking volubly as he did so.

  She thanked him, not having understood a word, but knowing what he

  meant, and crossed the road by the Stadhuis, to stand, looking left and

  right.

  They were at the far end of the harbour, by the harbour-master's house;

  she could see Marineka's red jersey.

  She heaved a sigh of relief and started to walk around the curve of

  water, to be stopped after a few yards by the dominee, wanting to know,

  in his careful, slow English, how Mevrouw Thor becke did and if she

  herself was in good health.

  He was a nice old man.

  Beth answered his questions without haste and managed not to look over

  her shoulder to see what the children were up to.

  They talked for quite five minutes before she said goodbye and started

  off once more.

  The children weren't there--and to make matters worse there were small

  clouds sliding across the sky to hide the sun and dim her view.

  There were a great many yachts moored in the harbour and a forest of

  masts between her and the harbour mouth, but it was actually no

  distance and they were probably hiding because they had seen her.

  She reached the harbour master's house and went round the patch in

  front of it, so that now she could see the small stretch of enclosed

  water and the open lock which led to the Hollandsche Diep.

  The children were there all right, in the boeier, with its sails

  spread, already a little way from the shore.

  Beth closed her eyes for a second, then took a calming breath before

  calling cheerfully: "Hi there--what about coming back before the rain

  starts?

  ' It was Dirk who answered.

  "We're not going to--we're going for a sail.

  I know all about it and we don't want you--you can go home and wait for

  us, and I don't care if you do sneak!

  ' He sounded defiant.

  "What in the world should I sneak for?

  Come on back.

  Dirk, I'm sure you're a first class sailor, but I think it would be a

  good idea if you brought the others back.

  ' He didn't answer, and Beth saw the boat, caught in a sudden gust of

  wind, driving further away from the shore.

  They would be through the lock in no time at all and out into open

  water.

  And not only that, the wind was freshening fast and the little clouds

  were all of a sudden big ones.

  She walked along the edge of the water, using all her persuasive powers

  with absolutely no effect.

  It was when she heard Alberdina's small voice wailing that she

  slithered down the bank, took off her shoes, slid into the water and

  began to swim laboriously towards the boeier.

  She hadn't really stopped to think, which was just as well, for she was

  terrified and she had no illusions about her swimming, but although she

  didn't know it, the strong current helped her, sweeping her along until

  she reached the boat, which was bowling merrily along now with only a

  few yards to go before it went through the narrow opening which would

  send it into the Hollandsche Diep.

  Somehow she scrambled on board, with Marineka and Hubert helping her

  and laughing at the same time.

  For them, she thought sourly, it was a fine joke, but for her it had

  been a wit-scaring experience she vowed she would never repeat, and now

  here she was, sitting on the deck of a boat she hadn't the faintest

  idea how to sail and wringing wet into the bargain.

  But it would never do to let them see how angry she was.

  She said between chattering teeth: "Heavens, I had no idea I could swim

  so well!

  And now what about getting back, so I can get out of these wet

  things?

  ' It was too late.

  As she spoke the boeier, caught by another, stronger gust of wind,

  plunged ahead, its sails billowing, sturdily ploughing through water

  which had become quite alarmingly rough, and Marineka, who had gone

  back to the tiller, suddenly left it again, declaring that it was too

  heavy for her and that she was frightened.

  Beth had only the haziest notion of what sailing entailed, but she did

  know that someone had to steer; she took the little girl's place and

  called to Dirk, busy in the curved bows of the boat: "How do we turn

  round?

  ' He turned a frightened little boy's face to her and She saw with a

  sinking heart that his boasting hadn't meant a thing, he didn't know

  much more than she did.

  He said now: "I don't know, Beth.

  I think we have to take in sail.

  There is a wind--sometimes there are sudden storms and it is

  dangerous.

  .

  ' He was right; the sky was a uniform grey now, pressing low on their

  heads, and the wind, no longer just gusts of it, was blowing steadily,

  taking them further and further away from land.

  "Well, what shall we do?

  ' asked Beth, carefully keeping panic out of her voice.

  "Shall I leave this thing and come and help you or stay where I am?

  ' "You cannot leave the tiller--I will try and get the sails down, but

  there are knots.

  " "But oughtn't we to keep at least one sail up, or we shall

  drift--isn't it called running before the wind?

  ' She was hopelessly vague about what to do next, but she remembered

  having read that somewhere and now the wind was too strong for them to

  do anything else.

  "Shall we try and reach the shore--there's land on either side of us,"

  she peered through the fine rain which was beginning to fall.

  "It's a long way off," she couldn't help adding: "Shall we try the left

&n
bsp; or the right?

  ' They decided on the left, but the wind was too strong for them.

  The boat, broad and steady, was safe enough, she thought, but it needed

  more than herself and Dirk to manage it, and the other children were

  too frightened to be of much help.

  They might have a better chance if they went straight ahead; there

  would be land somewhere ahead of them.

  She tried to remember what Holland looked like; there were a number of

  islands, she knew that, divided by a great number of waterways leading

  to the North Sea.

  She wrinkled her brows, trying to remember what the profess or had told

  her about them--there were dykes, enormous ones, enclosing some of the